The fact that I’m still mad at Mario is Missing should tell you something. The idea of a traditional game in the franchise starring Luigi back in the 16-bit era was too intriguing to pass up. The cover art made it seem like that was what we were getting with Mario is Missing, but unfortunately that couldn’t be farther from the truth. When I picked this one up as a kid I was horrified to find out that this perfectly good scenario was wasted on a simple educational title. There’s very little action, and as Luigi you’re sent simply to scour the Earth retrieving artifacts and answering real world trivia. Eventually I did manage to get some enjoyment out of it, but upon recently returning I was disappointed all over again. Mario is Missing is deceiving.
Bowser returns once more as the antagonist, and this time he has hatched a scheme to flood the real world by melting Antarctica. How exactly does he plan to do this? With hair dryers of course. When Mario sets out to thwart this ‘realistic’ plan he is quickly kidnapped. Luigi (with the help of Yoshi) has to set out to numerous real world cities, retrieve and return artifacts stolen by the koopa horde, and eventually rescue his brother. It’s a lot more exciting than it sounds trust me. What is nice is that the game runs on a modified version of the Super Mario World engine, and the enemies designs as well as Luigi himself were ripped straight out of that game. You begin in Koopa’s Keep in a simple chamber with five different doors; each of which leads to a different city in the real world. You run left, right, and Luigi retains his trademark jumping ability. You can also cross streets at vertical sidewalks in these populated areas which leads to new areas.
You have two basic goals in every city. The first of these is to retrieve the artifacts stolen by the army of koopa troopas. These guys, along with regular citizens, roam the streets of each town. In a rather odd twist the enemies walk right through you. There’s literally no way to die in this game, and the removed challenge is a big part of what makes it so dull. In each area three koopa carry one artifact apiece, and while your eventual goal is to jump on the heads of all enemies in each city you really want to focus on collecting these items. Strewn throughout each area are three information centers, and it is at these that you return the lost artifacts. You must speak with the lady operating these booths, and if you have the corresponding item you can attempt to return it. Unfortunately this character treats Luigi like a common criminal and for some odd reason thinks the item is fake unless you can answer three trivia questions related to the landmark. The artifacts are completely nonsensical, and the questions can actually be a little difficult. Thankfully the various people that populate each city will give you hints, and all information Luigi receives is stored on his computer accessed via the Start menu. If it sounds boring then that’s because it really is.
Luigi’s other goal is to figure out which city he’s currently in. This is necessary because you cannot exit the stage unless you’re riding Yoshi because a spiny guards the warp pipe back to the castle and he’s the only thing that will scare it away. When you have a pretty good idea of where you are (hints are given by the people you can speak with, but the landmarks are the big give away) and using the ‘Globulator’ device you must select the city. If you choose right Luigi will be riding on Yoshi’s back. This aspect of the game is probably the most educational, because this screen is a simplified map of the world. Cities include places like Kenya, San Francisco, Rome, Buenos Aires, and many more. You only have access to five places to start, but completing all of them (and defeating the boss character in one of the most pathetic encounters in Mario series history) takes you to the second floor of the castle thus opening up more stages. With all the details out of the way I will just come out and say it; Mario is Missing is a chore to play. It fails to make history and geography fun, and I feel bad for everyone else who got it expecting a traditional adventure.
On the plus side the graphics are actually pretty decent. Some of the background graphics are re-used between the cities, but overall they’re pretty detailed and serve as a pretty good clue as to which city you’re in. What’s also cool is that Luigi retains a photograph of every artifact that he returns, and as a kid I rather liked this feature. While the sprites for the koopa troopas, Yoshi, and Luigi himself are simply recycled from Super Mario World the new characters introduced here are laughable. They’re scaled terribly with features that are much smaller than Luigi, and they look really out of place. In addition the sprites for these citizens are recycled in all of the cities. Easily the best part of Mario is Missing is it’s soundtrack. The music can provide an absolutely huge hint as to which country you’re in based on the midi instrumentation, and the composers did an excellent job. I’m particularly fond of themes for San Francisco and Buenos Aires. Unfortunately the music is also recycled between some of the stages, but it isn’t a big deal.
From that boxart there’s really no way of telling that this is a strictly educational game. I was roped in, and I was generally pretty good at picking out video games back then. Unfortunately this experience is not a fun one. It’s aimed at children, and I highly doubt most of the audience has ever even heard of the Coit Tower in San Francisco, or the Hall of Good Harvest in Beijing. I don’t think this one was planned out all that well to be honest. Unfortunately it wasn’t until Luigi’s Mansion that the green plumber got the spotlight in a full fledged game, but even that wasn’t a traditional experience. Your collection could do without this one.